Privacy, in plain words

Short version: your birthdays are yours. We don’t sell, rent or share them with advertisers. No ads, no trackers, no selling your data. Brands that offer Birthday treats pay us for the product, not for your data, and they never get your email or your birthday.

What we store

Only what you (or someone you connected with) put in. On the hosted app that can include:

Account. Username, email, password hash (PBKDF2, never the password itself), first and last name, time zone, when you confirmed your email, and when you finished onboarding.
Your page. Birthday (month/day, year optional), city/state, photo, Loves / No thanks, visibility choices, and your ask link.
Mailing address. Optional, private by default. Shared with someone only when you approve their request, and only for 30 days.
People you add. Names, birthdays or other occasions, optional email/phone (hashed for “someone you may know” matching), notes that only you ever see, and gift ideas you keep for them.
Occasions. Birthdays, anniversaries, work anniversaries, memorials or a label you invent, tied to you or to a person you added.
Wishlists. Items you list; quiet claims when someone reserves a gift (we don’t tell you which item or who, unless they chose to).
Connections. Who you asked to connect with, who connected, and pending requests. Across servers we store the federation handles you linked.
Greetings. Messages friends (or brands, if you opted in) leave on your page. Nothing shows until you approve it.
Groups. Named groups of people, and any share links you create for them.
Reminders. Which reminder emails you turned on, and a short log so we don’t send the same one twice.
Agents. Clients you connect (MCP / API), the scopes you granted, and an activity log of what they read or wrote for about 90 days, so you can check or undo.
Birthday treats (hosted). Whether you opted in, which brands you connected, and treats those brands saved for you. Off by default. See below.
Product mail. Confirmations, password resets, connection and greeting notices, and the reminders you chose. We keep a short outbox log so support can see what was sent.
Feedback and waitlists (hosted). Notes you send on /feedback, and early-access or newsletter sign-ups you confirm.
Security logs. Recent sign-in and password attempts (to stop guessing), and admin actions on self-hosted instances.

Self-hosted servers store the same kinds of things on hardware their owners control. We don’t see that data.

Birthday treats (opt-in, off by default)

Birthday treats are brand offers on the hosted app. They stay off until you turn them on (Settings or the onboarding step). Connecting a brand also requires that opt-in.

Brands never get your email or your birth date. When a brand prepares a treat, they only learn that “a connected customer has a birthday coming up,” not who you are or when.
Brands pay us for the business product (tools, MCP, early access). They do not buy lists. We don’t sell, rent or broker your profile.
You can turn treats off any time. Pending treats stay in your inbox until you approve or hide them, same as any other greeting.

Who sees what

Public — anyone with your link sees only what you marked public (usually month/day, wishlist, Loves / No thanks, approved greetings).
Groups — people in groups you share with.
Private — only you, and agents you allowed with that scope.
Your birth year stays hidden unless you turn it on. Notes on people are only ever visible to you.

Email

Account mail (confirm your email, password reset, connection and greeting notices) and the reminders you turned on. At most one reminder email a day, and at most one connection or greeting notice a day. No marketing blasts, no tracking pixels. The optional newsletter is a separate double opt-in.

Imports

Files you upload (.csv, .vcf, .ics) are read to add people and then discarded. Google Contacts import (when configured) only pulls the contacts you choose.

Your controls

Export everything any time (Settings → Export).
Revoke any agent instantly (Agents).
Turn Birthday treats off (Settings → Birthday treats).
Delete your account: scheduled removal after 7 days; cancel any time before.
Run it yourself: the core is open source.

Updated Oct 15, 2026 · Draft for legal review